Zapped 3.0/Transcript
(Accept mission) Springs: I was going to tweak your gun so it shoots explosive rounds -- tons of fun, though you'd need to watch where you fire the thing -- but change of plan. I've got it doing corrosive damage; wanna give it a go? Please? Springs: Tops! Here ya go, handle with care and all that. I, uh, recently took delivery of some claptrap units: Turns out the bloody things' main processors are totally fried -- which would explain why they were so ruddy cheap! Anyway, put 'em out of their misery, would ya? Need me to tell you where they are? Thought not. Springs: If you want to take down something made of metal, a corrosive weapon's your best bet. (Corrode 1 CL4P-TP) Malfunctioning CL4P-TP: I DON'T WANT... TO... DIE! Springs: Don't worry, that'll be some residual data. That clappy's a total vegetable. Or mineral. Probably. (Kill 5 CL4P-TPs) Springs: Good job, come on back. I'll give that laser one last tweak and you can keep it. Torgue: NOW HOLD ON ONE MOTHER-****ING MINUTE! "PEW-PEW-PEW!" LIGHT GUNS?! SERIOUSLY?! WANT A REAL WEAPON, FUELED BY THE AWESOME POWER OF EXPLOSIONS?! THE ANSWER IS YES! *'Athena (if present):' You've got a proposal? *'Wilhelm (if present):' Maybe. *'Nisha (if present):' I'm all ears. *'Claptrap (if present):' I just might, Mr. Torgue, sir! *'Jack2 (if present):' Do go on, loud guy. *'Aurelia (if present):' I don't care for you. Torgue: I'M ON A BAD-*** MISSION TO EXPLODE ALL *****-*** LASER WEAPONS! HAUL *** TO THE COORDINATES I'M SMACKING INTO YOUR ECHO, AND WAIT FOR INSTRUCTIONS! FAILURE TO DO THIS WILL RESULT IN YOU BEING BRANDED A HUGE A-HOLE! (Arrive at coordinates) Torgue: ALRIGHT, SO YOU GOT COJONES! STAND STILL, I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HIT BY THIS! THOUGH THAT WOULD BE KINDA AWESOME! Torgue: SEE THAT HOMING BEACON? GRAB IT! (Pick up beacon) Springs: Uh, are you still dropping off that laser? Feels like you're taking a long time getting back to me. Torgue: DON'T ANSWER! YOU'RE TOO BUSY DOING AWESOME STUFF! PUT THE BEACON ON THE GROUND WHERE YOUR ECHO SAYS! RESPECT THE ECHO! (Place beacon) Torgue: PUT THAT FLIM-FLAM PIECE OF LASER TRASH NEXT TO THE BEACON AND STAND FAR AWAY, 'CAUSE THINGS ARE GONNA FRICKIN' MOTHER-EXPLODE! (Place gun) Torgue: I'VE PICKED AN AWESOME SPOT FOR YOU TO WATCH THE SHOW! HURRY UP, I HATE WAITING! (Arrive at vantage point) Torgue: NOTHING SAYS I HATE YOU LIKE 50 ****ING BARRELS OF HI-GRADE EXPLOSIVE INSIDE A SPACESHIP SENT HURTLING INTO A WEAPON THAT IS A TRAVESTY TO NATURE! MOWWMOWWMOWWMEEDLYMOWWWWW! Torgue: OH, WAIT! (guitar music plays) Torgue: WEEEEEOWWWMOWWMOWMOWMOWWWWOWOW OWWWOWWW! HA-HA! (spaceship crashes into beacon and laser) Torgue: YEAHHHH! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT! YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY AN AMBASSADOR OF EXPLOSIONS! Springs: Uh, why do I get the feeling I won't be seeing that laser any time soon. Big shame, right there. (Turn in) Torgue: IN RECOGNITION OF SERVICES RENDERED TO EXPLOSIONS, ACCEPT THIS TOTALLY GENEROUS REWARD! LATER! Springs: Aww, I was gonna tweak that laser so it dealt shock damage. You could have used it to quickly take down enemy's shields! Or make 'em dance funny! Oh well. Category:Transcripts